Paragraphs: Give Us a Break {Writer's Toolkit Series}


Blog post title: Paragraph's Give us a Break (Writer's Toolkit Series)


I’d like to try a little experiment. Please read the following two passages.


Passage #1:

The birds gathered at the feeder, each one eager for their chance to gather some seeds. There was a snowstorm last night, leaving a blanket of white covering the dried grasses and branches and hiding any source of food that the birds could find on their own. But the bird feeder would be their saving grace. As they waited their turn, they chirped greetings to each other. The fat mourning doves sat beneath the feeder, gathering any seeds that dropped to the earth from the other too-eager birds. This would be their morning ritual until spring. But then the feeling at the feeder changed. A large Blue Jay swooped in, its brisk squawk not sounding like the sweet chips of the other birds. It squawked again, sending another warning, as the birds waiting on the branches tightened up their feathers. The Jay moved toward the feeder. The other birds scattered. Even the fat mourning dove flew away.


Passage #2:

The birds gathered at the feeder, each one eager for their chance to gather some seeds. There was a snowstorm last night, leaving a blanket of white covering the dried grasses and branches and hiding any source of food that the birds could find on their own. But the bird feeder would be their saving grace.

As they waited their turn, they chirped greetings to each other. The fat mourning doves sat beneath the feeder, gathering any seeds that dropped to the earth from the other too-eager birds. This would be their morning ritual until spring.